She Isn't Here

its been a long while since i last updated
things have been moving fast
its picking up
i feel better
more confident
lately, everything has been good
everybody in school has been great
hmm, wei man and wei kuen played frisbee with us...
based on what i saw, i think they enjoyed themselves
hmm, i've been studying hard...
i'm loving what i'm doing
and that's good

much has been on my mind lately too
well, i care for her a lot
so i've been feeling particularly great
she's not distracting though
and that's been an extra bonus for me :]


other things have not been so good...
i'm worried
karlynn has not replied my email for a long time
i don't know...i hope she hasn't forgotten me
i'd lose probably the best friend that i ever had
i don't want to lose that
*sigh*
just had one of the toughest training routine i've been through
i won't lie...it was tough
and the end result was...
hell, i feel useless...
its like i never get anything right
he's always better than me, stronger than me...
every aspect that counts...he's better than me
i won't give up
that's for sure
but...
i feel useless
no matter how hard i try to be the best
he's always 2 steps ahead of me...always
damn, i need to stop complaining...
but i just need a place to vent
someone to talk to...
and karlynn isn't here...